Hey Ma! I'm in a Magazine!

VoyageMichigan recently did an interview with me about my work and I'm seriously thrilled that I can share it! You can read the interview by clicking HERE. Special thanks to Maria Filar for recommending me for this. I'm pumped!

Hobbit Holes.

One of the greatest experiences of my life was visiting the Hobbiton movie set in New Zealand. It allowed me the opportunity to get up close and personal with the hobbit holes seen in the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit films. I've been working on my digital painting skills by painting them.

My most recent hobbit hole is this one with the blue door. I drew it based on a photo I took while there. Here's included a photo of me there! Andddd I spent a lot of time drawing/painting it!

This one with the blue door took me 12 hours. No exaggeration. I did it on procreate. In this particular image with the three different paintings, I wanted to show my progression. Each piece is separate. The first piece took me 45 minutes and it was more of a study. The second piece took me 6.5 hours and it was the same reference as the first. The third is my most recent and it's the one that took me 12 hours with a different reference.

I printed one of them to hang up. I'm so happy with it. I hope that you, too, can share in my appreciation for progress and hobbit holes because both are magical.

Witchy frog.

I have a folder on my desktop called "Things I want to Draw" and I've been putting them off. Well, since the world is self-quarantining (or if you're not, you really need to be), now's a great time to crack into them. Of course, I'm finding it difficult to create much of anything because the other day, we picked up Animal Crossing: New Horizons and that's been any and all points of escape. Matt bought me those Elton John sunglasses and the pink boots to match. I also enjoy stargazing.

The Wienermobile.

My love for the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile knows no bounds. I have been obsessed with it for as long as I can remember. I wish I took a picture with it every time I went to see it when I was younger, but I have started doing it over the last few years. As you can see, my hair color changes in each of them. I have bought many a membership to the Henry Ford in Dearborn, Michigan just to bask in its presence. I am so in love with it, in fact, I got a tattoo because it's one of my favorite things in the world. I recently whipped up this little drawing of myself with the wienermobile. Anyway, I just want Oscar Mayer to take me for a ride and send me some sort of memorabilia with the wienermobile on it. I would actually die.

30th Birthday Round Up!

Man, what a whirlwind. My life has been absolutely awesome. The past two weeks, I've been celebrating my birthday. I went to Nashville for delicious food, stopped by Chicago so Matt could meet Lita, got the best birthday surprise of my life (a video that Matt Benyo put together of all of my awesome friends wishing me a happy birthday/including a memory/just saying super nice things about me), my mom cooked me dinner and dessert, got a tattoo on my birthday (thanks to Matt) to commemorate the start of this new decade, and I finally met/pet/fed A SLOTH. Pinch me, man. I ALSO whipped up a little Red Velvet mini cake from paper (in case you missed it). So, here's some photos of my best moments. Click to enlarge and thank you to everyone that helped make this the best birthday I've ever had.

One Year Ago.

Exactly one year ago today, my life changed. My dad, completely jaundiced, stopped delaying his trip to the hospital and went only to find he wasn’t able to leave and further testing was required. He went to the hospital in Adrian late on the 6^th and they transported him to University of Michigan at 3 am. Before he left, they told him it wasn’t good. I felt like I was standing so firmly, only to have the ground open up beneath me and swallow me whole. My family descended into the darkness and the unknown to fight a battle we ultimately never stood a chance against, but damn it, did we fight. We fought HARD. I don’t think I’ve ever tried so hard to do anything in my life.

I have Time Hop and my “memories” come up on facebook. I realized that I will be reliving all of the emotions I felt and seeing all of the updates I posted as this year unfolds and I am feeling a lot of emotions about it. On one hand, I do not want to see it. I don’t want to read it. I almost want to forget it even happened, but on the other, it gives me a chance to see my dad regularly. His photos and videos will show up. I wish I could stick my head into those moments and tell him, “Hey! You don’t have a lot of time, but I want you to stop acting like you’re going to die tomorrow! You have 6 months, let’s get out there and do something with it!”

But I  can’t.

A couple of weeks ago, I was laying in bed and out of no where started thinking about my dad’s feet. They were long and skinny; almost skeletal looking even in good health. My dad’s toenails were always too long. He stepped on a nail in his youth and still has the dent from where it went in on the bottom of his foot, but as I laid there thinking about them, I started crying so hard. I don’t have a picture of his feet. I will never see those feet again. Those feet only exist in my memory and that is a very overwhelming feeling. I wish I had photographed every thing that seemed mundane to me. I wish I could see his feet again.

When all of this was happening, I remember feeling like I was in a whirlwind constantly. There was a lot of uncertainty. We were on an emotional rollercoaster. After my dad passed, I felt like the entire world changed and seemed different, but it took me a little too long to realize that it wasn’t the world at all; it was me. I had changed. I have changed and I don’t think I can ever be the same person I was. The colors in this world seem a bit muted after the loss of someone so profound to me. I cry a little bit more. I have experienced a loss and lived through something I never thought would actually happen to me.

So, today begins reliving the same journey as one year ago, but this time, I know the outcome. I know when the journey ends and I’m not looking forward to it, but this time, I will do my best to honor and celebrate that loss and not let the darkness consume me. I have to believe he died on Halloween so he could come back because everyone knows the spirits cross over that day. This time, I will be ready.

For those of you that don’t know, Matt got me the greatest birthday gift of all: a portrait of my dad done by one of the best portrait artists in the world: Bob Tyrrell. It took 11 hours, but I don’t regret a second of it. Now he is with me again forever.

The Rabbit Hole.

Today, my little sister, Shelby, and I decided to exchange birthday gifts. Her birthday is March 22nd and mine is April 25th, but she is really terrible at holding onto gifts. She got me some great ones. She got me Space Jam on DVD, some magic wish dust, an amazing customized Psyduck watercolor by my friend, Crystal, a nice card with some Lush cash, and a Limited Edition Satanic Coloring Book (that isn't as weird as you'd think). I was cracking up. Then, it was my turn. I made my sister a book full of inside jokes and pictures. She loved it. I wrote her a nice note. She cried. I got her some cool gifts, too. I also colored this White Rabbit because Shelby loves Alice in Wonderland. It was how we kicked the gift giving off. I hit a home run with this gift and I knew I would. It's all about the personal, homemade touches when it comes to me. I would pick a card with a nice handwritten note in it over a "thing" any day. Those are the important things; words. I like to extend that courtesy to others when I think about how I can impact their day. She felt great about everything and I did too. Mission accomplished. Happy early birthday, Shelby. I love you a lot. LYLAS. You're my spicy boy.

My dad.

Its been almost 4 months since my dad has died and somehow it feels like a day and a lifetime simultaneously. I sound like a broken record when I say that, but it is still not real to me. I still can't process it. I still find myself unable to think about it or else everything gets blurry. When will it ever start to feel real? When do I stop feeling nothing?

I have a friend in France named Elsa. She has kept me grounded through this experience. She also lost her father. She sends me long, thoughtful messages that I take too long to reply to. In one of them, she told me I should consider drawing my dad because it helped her a lot. She would spend several hours just focusing on the details. She said she thought it would help in dealing with intense moments of sadness. I thought it was a great idea, but couldn't bring myself to be creative.

Over the past couple weeks, I have been working at this drawing. Very slowly, I have been focusing on the details and scrutinizing every shape and shadow in my dad's face. Last night, I finished it. I haven't felt such a sense of pride in a very long time. I stared at his face and it felt alive. I wanted to show him the completed portrait to hear him tell me how proud of me he was. I wanted to know what kind of comment he would leave on it when he saw it posted on my blog, but then the harsh, cold reality hit me that he is gone. The realization hits me like an icy wave that takes my breath away and then I am stuck holding a book and staring at a face that I will no longer see again.

Elsa sent me another message and said: the life around you seems to keep going on the same way it used to, but for you it's so utterly different, so you sort of expect the world to be different too, but it isn't. People keep going to work, they still grocery shop, they drive cars; the same TV programs my father used to love are still on TV. It's like the world ended to you, so you expect other things to end, but it just goes on and will continue to do so. It's like the world has absolutely no consideration for the sadness it has caused you, and you are helpless.

My mom called me last weekend and told me she read a bunch of my blog entries and she was laughing. She told me I should get back into writing and drawing again. I did a painting of Jim Leyland in college that my dad loved that I never documented. She said I should repaint him again. This is me taking small steps in that direction.

With Matt Benyo's help with the watercolor background, I created this as a tribute to my dad and his love for the Tigers. It's no Jim Leyland, Mom, but I think it will mean a little more because it's Charles.

So, tonight I am thinking about my dad and his crooked nose and uneven teeth. I am thinking about how he loved a good, well done steak. I am thinking about him whenever I walk past the Donut Shop coffee K cups in the grocery store. I think of him when I walk past the peanuts because he loved them. He is intrinsically linked to so much of my everyday life that there's not a moment he isn't on my mind, but that isn't a bad thing. The best way to keep someone alive is to remember them.

Love and miss you always, Dad. Please, click to enlarge the image below to see it in its full glory.

Post Halloween!

Yesterday I was Mick Foley/Mankind/Cactus Jack ALL IN ONE. The best part about my costume? The mask. Matt Benyo single handedly made my costume amazing. This was just a thin layer of foam from Michael's and using paint and markers, Matt made this thing look like LEATHER! I did the gold rivets with a sharpie, but those are insignificant compared to the overall mask. I was in love with my costume and I won the costume contest at our friend's party! $10 gift certificate to Timmy Ho's! I tried to Mandible Claw a few people, but Mr. Socko enjoyed himself nonetheless. Matt was this cool skeleton inspired by Tate from season 1 of American Horror Story. Also, his hair is corn rowed. I did that. Click to see the details!

In honor of today's CELEBRACION of Dia de los Muertos, I whipped up a skeleton musician. His music is in memory of those that have passed and so his music speaks to the spirits. I wanted it to be fun and colorful. Matt Benyo said the word of the day is simplicity so I tried to keep that in mind. I used illustrator! Check it out!

2012.

2012 was the bomb dot com. I didn't remember the beginning of the year until I went on a photographic journey with Matt Benyo. I did some rock climbing. My hair changed a lot this year. I got two tattoos. I celebrated my 25th birthday Golden style in New York City, made a YOLO list, went to SLEEP NO MORE, and met Nick Jonas. I saw One Direction. I met Cher Lloyd. This summer was a blur of fun and adventures with my best friend in the whole wide world. Successfully baked cupcakes for him and surprised him for his birthday. Met Larry Bruner who sent us to Europe to fulfill our dreams. Ate lots of Slow's. Met Jeremy Sumpter. Flew first class and back to Europe. Stayed with Cloe in France and put a lock on the infamous lock bridge. Surprised Kory Kalnasy in Italy. Became an aunt. Started hanging out with people I hadn't seen in awhile. Went to New York again and won tickets in the Wicked lottery which got us in the front row for $30. Voted for the first time in my life and spent the holidays with Matt Benyo and his family. Life rules.

Matt Benyo's Birthday.

It was Matt Benyo's 21st birthday on Saturday! So on Friday, I prepared a surprise party for him (with the help of Kory Kalnasy and Kevin Scott) and spent way too many hours making cupcakes with little drawings and a nice anchor card that I cut out of wood. For the record, wood is difficult to cut and sand. It was great and there were sparklers and I've never used a sparkler before so that was neat and scary. Matt Benyo was surprised and that was the goal. It was wonderful.

On Saturday, Matt Benyo and I hit the town hard. With a special yolo birthday list in mind, we got fancy and headed to Detroit to go to the casino, eat some saganaki, and explore the beverage world for adults. Well, Matt did, I just sipped sodas.We made our way back to our neck of the woods and went to Kevin's grad party. Kory said that Matt Benyo and I looked like a million bucks. Best compliment ever. 

Overall, I think it was a success. If I won the lottery, this would've been 1,000 times better, but happy birthday, Matt Benyo. I hope you loved it.

Playing Ketchup.

Every year I post about my birthday, but this year I was too wrapped up in the celebrations to make a blog. This birthday was, without a doubt, the best birthday I've had. Why? Because it was my GOLDEN BIRTHDAY. I turned 25 on the 25th! For my birthday, I got two new tattoos. YOLO, to remind me to be daring this birthday, and Stay Gold, because I've always been a fan of the quote, but also because it represents my Golden Birthday. 

   

Where better to be for my birthday than New York City? I went with two of the greatest guys I know, Matt Benyo and Kory Kalnasy, and together, we successfully completed my YOLO birthday list. Enlarge to read!
 

In addition to seeing a celebrity, Kory got him to sign that list. This is me meeting Nick Jonas and getting a polaroid with him! Matt Benyo suggested Nick sign it:  

Kory totally surprised me at midnight outside of Cody's dorm with Matt Benyo, Cody, and Kory singing to me. Kory made me this giant robot card and had a red velvet cupcake for me! I was so happy! Kory also stole that 2 and 5 from a gas station.  

Matt Benyo and I went to this thing in New York called Sleep No More and it is so hard to describe. Even putting it into words does it no justice, but it's like you step back in time to the 40's and you get a playing card and white mask (pictured below) and you wear it around 6 floors, but you can't take it off or talk and you follow actors and actresses around (they don't talk either) and you piece together the story they're portraying and each floor is different. Floor 4 had shops, Floor 2 had a bar with a live band, Floor 1 had a cemetery. It was SO COOL. It's interactive and it loops 3 times throughout the night giving you the opportunity to follow different people and see things from different perspectives. Matt Benyo and I were going to split up, but when we walked in, it was dark and scary so we stuck close, but while waiting in the bar to head inside, I was asked to come back to the bar at 8:45 so I went to the bar and I got taken to a secret floor where I was left with this Silent Hill looking nurse who wheeled me down a long, dark hallway in an old fashioned wheelchair and it was just the two of us and I almost died. The night concluded with a hanging at a banquet surrounded by 400 masked voyeurs. It really was one of the coolest and most surreal experiences I've ever had and I know Matt Benyo agreed. We couldn't stop talking about it afterwards and even now, he smells things that remind him of it. I wish I had a time machine. I'd love to go back. Since then, Matt Benyo and I have gone to Chicago for pizza, Jamba, & good jams! And even more recently, we joined our friend, Rhiannon, and went to see ONE DIRECTION at the Fox Theatre. It was sold out, but Rhiannon and I waited 7 hours and finally managed to get 3 tickets in the 9th row! We had the best time ever!

So, that's where I am. ALL CAUGHT UP. Art to come next!

Holy 2011.

2011 Highlights:
- Playing hide & seek and building a fort out of sheets with MB and BC.
- All the jamba juice I consumed.
- Buffy marathons.
- My birthday and meeting Jason Segel.
- X Factor (Matt fulfilling his dream of seeing Cheryl Cole and telling her he loved her and me getting dehydrated and having the world's worst tan line on my chest. Also: Surviving THE RAPTURE).
- Jason getting the Red Wings tattoo I drew for him.
- The little X and seeing Brother Chan graduate from high school.
- Getting my Harry Potter chapter stars tattoo.
- Working Cranbrook with my best friend and our cohorts: Jill and Proma; being bullies at the zoo on the bus.
- Seeing Sia/Ximena, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, and Nicki Minaj .
- Going to Harry Potter world for the first time, having butterbeer, AND seeing the theatrical conclusion to the world's greatest series while crying so much and so hard that my eyes were burning for hours afterwards.
- Going to New York City and surviving Hurricane Irene.
- Having a back to back Harry Potter marathon-turned-wrestling and seeing HP7 at the IMAX in 3D while enjoying treats from Harry Potter world that we snuck in.
- Seeing Real Steel in theatres...finally.
- Being invited for shenanigans at Betsy's cabin with a cameo by 2 Michael Myers and a near drowning incident.
- Haunted housing in A2 and Christmas music starting that night.
- Sib seshing with Shelby and the Riopelle brothers.
- Convincing Matt not to be a pirate & trick or treating with him and Betsy.
- Seeing Russell Brand do his stand up live and having my dreams come true when he kissed me on the lips (still the best moment of the year; hands down). Then I died.
- NYC with Betsy for Anderson Cooper, a run in with Hugh, asking Angelina Jolie a question, staying in a swanky apartment, going to the red carpet premiere, and being in NYC during Christmas time while having perfect weather.
- The Secret Santa party and my amazing gifts from my Secret Santa :)
- Jeremy and Rachel's constant support and their Christmas gift to me.
- All the pizza I ate.
- Playing games a lot lately despite the fact that I'm not doing well at them.
- Russell Brand's divorce.
So, as 2011 ends, 2012 will be spent pursuing him. I spent this year getting closer to the people that were already in my life and weeding out the ones that didn't belong. I read this quote that said: "It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years" and my years are bursting. 2012 IS CARPE DIEM YEAR. It's also my golden birthday so there's no way this won't be a magical year. I'm happy with where I am and hopeful about where I'm going. Let's look back on the year, but look forward to what is coming. After all, we can't #blameiton2011 anymore.

Raley Rendezvous!

I had an eventful weekend, but the only documentation of it happened at the Raley Residence. Kim came home from KZoo and a handful of us hung out, ate pizza, and acted like animals! I've also been wearing that Halloween sweater every other day and two people have said, "It's not even Halloween time yet!" I can assure everyone; it is. Houses are being prepared/decorated as we speak. It's getting time.

Venetian Masks.

I spent this week showing kids how to make Venetian style masks which is why I haven't updated since Wednesday. My apologies, but keep an eye on my blog. I have lots of fun facts and other neat things to post. Here are the masks:Here is a picture of me with my favorite, Elliot! He was joined by his sassy sister, Amelia. They're a great little family. I helped Elliot work on this neat little robot project on the side. He did such an amazing job. This is why I like kids; they inspire me.