30th Birthday Round Up!

Man, what a whirlwind. My life has been absolutely awesome. The past two weeks, I've been celebrating my birthday. I went to Nashville for delicious food, stopped by Chicago so Matt could meet Lita, got the best birthday surprise of my life (a video that Matt Benyo put together of all of my awesome friends wishing me a happy birthday/including a memory/just saying super nice things about me), my mom cooked me dinner and dessert, got a tattoo on my birthday (thanks to Matt) to commemorate the start of this new decade, and I finally met/pet/fed A SLOTH. Pinch me, man. I ALSO whipped up a little Red Velvet mini cake from paper (in case you missed it). So, here's some photos of my best moments. Click to enlarge and thank you to everyone that helped make this the best birthday I've ever had.

Taco Tuesday!

Today is Taco Tuesday so what better than a lil mini taco for the occasion? Matt Benyo and I celebrated accordingly by eating at Taco Bell after work. This was actually super hard to make because anytime I went to stand it up, it would fall over and eventually I just took the photo with the taco contents spilled out because I had to put them all back in by layer and it took forever. The cheese was a real pain, but I really loved this lil guy. Matt did me the honor of editing the photos so they looked awesome. Click to enlarge and I hope you had a great Taco Tuesday! I'm going to finish mine with a slice of Key Lime Pie that my mom made for Easter (Thanks, Mom! I love it)! Also, mom, since I know you're going to read this, can we have tacos for my birthday? I love your tacos and banana pudding.

Hoppy Easter!

So, Matt Benyo and I teamed up to bring you the best easter mini we could think of: AN EASTER BASKET! Using our stash of awesome papers, we got hard to work last night and by the wee hours of the morning, had created this. Matt Benyo did all of the basket (including the beautiful weaving), the grass, and the editing that gives the photos that spring feel. I made the eggs, the chocolate bunny, and took the photos. It was the perfect collaboration and I loved every minute of it. I'm a little bummed out I didn't get an easter basket this year, but this is the next best thing. Click to enlarge the photos and Happy Easter to all!

Lil Pizza!

I was a maniac today and made the fries look like garbage next to this thing. PEPPERONI PIZZA IN A LITTLE BOX. Now, trying to glue those pepperonis on with a glue stick was absolutely terrible, but after way too long, they stuck. I wanted to add pineapple to the pizza, but I was working with a limited color palette because of the construction paper. When I was little, my sister was obsessed with Kitchen Littles. Does anyone remember those toys? She had the fridge. I remember thinking it was awesome, too. The things that amuse us as kids, man, but who's laughing now because I literally spent hours making a tiny pizza and a box out of paper. The children and parents were impressed. In addition, one of the children made me a tiny version of McDonald's chicken nuggets with two napkins. I was all about that AND she let me keep it. I'm starting a buffet. Click to enlarge!

French Fries!

Today at work was long, but one of the kids made me some french fries and that made me want to make a super miniature version of my own set. So, using construction paper, tape, and a glue stick, I somehow made a tiny pack of fries. I like miniature things. I think this would be a really cool avenue to explore. I will see what becomes of it. The best part was that another kid made a juice box and one other kid made a cupcake. Inspiring the masses! Click to enlarge!

One Year Ago.

Exactly one year ago today, my life changed. My dad, completely jaundiced, stopped delaying his trip to the hospital and went only to find he wasn’t able to leave and further testing was required. He went to the hospital in Adrian late on the 6^th and they transported him to University of Michigan at 3 am. Before he left, they told him it wasn’t good. I felt like I was standing so firmly, only to have the ground open up beneath me and swallow me whole. My family descended into the darkness and the unknown to fight a battle we ultimately never stood a chance against, but damn it, did we fight. We fought HARD. I don’t think I’ve ever tried so hard to do anything in my life.

I have Time Hop and my “memories” come up on facebook. I realized that I will be reliving all of the emotions I felt and seeing all of the updates I posted as this year unfolds and I am feeling a lot of emotions about it. On one hand, I do not want to see it. I don’t want to read it. I almost want to forget it even happened, but on the other, it gives me a chance to see my dad regularly. His photos and videos will show up. I wish I could stick my head into those moments and tell him, “Hey! You don’t have a lot of time, but I want you to stop acting like you’re going to die tomorrow! You have 6 months, let’s get out there and do something with it!”

But I  can’t.

A couple of weeks ago, I was laying in bed and out of no where started thinking about my dad’s feet. They were long and skinny; almost skeletal looking even in good health. My dad’s toenails were always too long. He stepped on a nail in his youth and still has the dent from where it went in on the bottom of his foot, but as I laid there thinking about them, I started crying so hard. I don’t have a picture of his feet. I will never see those feet again. Those feet only exist in my memory and that is a very overwhelming feeling. I wish I had photographed every thing that seemed mundane to me. I wish I could see his feet again.

When all of this was happening, I remember feeling like I was in a whirlwind constantly. There was a lot of uncertainty. We were on an emotional rollercoaster. After my dad passed, I felt like the entire world changed and seemed different, but it took me a little too long to realize that it wasn’t the world at all; it was me. I had changed. I have changed and I don’t think I can ever be the same person I was. The colors in this world seem a bit muted after the loss of someone so profound to me. I cry a little bit more. I have experienced a loss and lived through something I never thought would actually happen to me.

So, today begins reliving the same journey as one year ago, but this time, I know the outcome. I know when the journey ends and I’m not looking forward to it, but this time, I will do my best to honor and celebrate that loss and not let the darkness consume me. I have to believe he died on Halloween so he could come back because everyone knows the spirits cross over that day. This time, I will be ready.

For those of you that don’t know, Matt got me the greatest birthday gift of all: a portrait of my dad done by one of the best portrait artists in the world: Bob Tyrrell. It took 11 hours, but I don’t regret a second of it. Now he is with me again forever.