Remember Rex Kwon Do from Napoleon Dynamite? That pretty accurately sums up my experience this evening in front of my house.
Denise Sewesky informed me that she took a self defense class and decided to teach me about it/show me some moves. I was Kip. Denise basically beat the hell out of me, but luckily, no one was out/around so I just felt like an idiot in my own mind in the middle of the street. She showed me how to break elbows, wrists, and noses. It's all about SPEED and AGILITY. Each of her little moves, she barely applied pressure, BUT IT HURT. I should've said GEEZ under my breath in a lisp the way Kip does, but instead, my expressions did all of the talking. I'm feeling good should someone try to attack me. The final thing I learned is that if you are being raped in an alley, don't scream RAPE; instead, scream FIRE so "everyone comes out to look at the pretty fire." Thanks for the tips, D. Here are Denise and Proma bots.
Denise Sewesky informed me that she took a self defense class and decided to teach me about it/show me some moves. I was Kip. Denise basically beat the hell out of me, but luckily, no one was out/around so I just felt like an idiot in my own mind in the middle of the street. She showed me how to break elbows, wrists, and noses. It's all about SPEED and AGILITY. Each of her little moves, she barely applied pressure, BUT IT HURT. I should've said GEEZ under my breath in a lisp the way Kip does, but instead, my expressions did all of the talking. I'm feeling good should someone try to attack me. The final thing I learned is that if you are being raped in an alley, don't scream RAPE; instead, scream FIRE so "everyone comes out to look at the pretty fire." Thanks for the tips, D. Here are Denise and Proma bots.
4 comments:
Hehehehe. I got a shout out in your blog. I feel kinda cool :) thank you.
P.S. You made it sound like I seriously beat your ass and that I'm a beast! The only way I would have to use these moves is if someone tried to hurt my Toby. Then- they would DIE! Toby says hi.
P.S.S. Random fact- According to my SD instructor, in the state of Michigan, if someone breaks in your house you have the right to kick their ass. But, they have to be INSIDE your house. So, if they crawl to the porch or back yard, drag their ass back inside and clean up the blood on the cement before the cops show up. He also said that if you want to avoid a trial and all that $$$$$ and jazz, then you should probably make sure they are dead.
Peace and Love. Til next time---
-Dee :)
this is hilarious. i wanna learn self defense now!
Hey. your great. i still have a gift for you. also ive been really busy and havent been able to keep up with any of my blogs for the last 2 weeks. So im commenting now in lue of my absent comment with your lady gaga piece.
The hair was awesome.
Hold out stong in the hard world.
fist pump.
Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!. (we must have a belated bday gathering. I'll bring the Dew)
-Curtis (know by few as Q)
<3
No pain, no gain, and if it doesn’t hurt, then it’s not real! In learning self-defense, you will experience some pain, but all worth it to save you from emotional pain. We have to be on guard with our own selves, and don’t expect anyone to act like a superhero and come and save you. And yeah, “FIRE” is much catchy than “RAPE.” It doesn’t matter what you shout, just make sure you’ll get attention!
-Saundra Tosh
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