Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas: On The Real.

Christmas Eve didn't feel like Christmas Eve. The holidays snuck up on us and before we had time to prepare, they were here, and they slapped us in the face. I remember when the 25 days it took to get to Christmas, felt like a year by themselves; not anymore. My mom always said that as you get older, the days just fly by, but I really felt the weight of her words this year. I spent the past 4 nights at Matt Benyo's and I reveled in his Christmas splendor as I tried to get a grasp on time. At 11:30 last night, Matt, BC, and I sat around, enjoying a late dinner (pizza rolls) and then spent Christmas Eve watching The Polar Express, eating candy canes, and watching informercials. It was wonderful, but didn't do much for my holiday spirit; not because they did anything wrong, but because my heart just wasn't in it. We got home around 9:30 this evening (a mere 3 hours ago) and we were greeted by our family. Inside the fridge was an unbaked pizza from Dearborn Italian Bakery. I had a revelation as we sat around eating our pizza. Christmas will never be what it was to us as kids. We search incessantly for some intangible feeling that we've lost and we don't know how we'll get it back. Our expectations of Christmas are still comparable to an 8 year olds. Our lives are not the Christmas movies we watch and we aren't kids. I realized that Christmas isn't so much a thing as it is a feeling. Christmas is the togetherness of this evening and the small gift I received that I hadn't planned on receiving at all. Christmas is the roof over my head and the warm food in my belly that I hadn't counted on eating. One of Nathan's favorite sayings is "You don't always get what you want, but you get what you need". This Christmas, I learned it's not about what you want, but what you got. I've got a family that, even at our worst, still somehow makes it through and pulls together. I'm lucky to know and have so many wonderful people in my life. I have some very close friends that I wouldn't trade the world for and one of those friends I was lucky enough to spend the past few days with. I consider myself lucky to have such an amazing, thoughtful, and selfless person in my life. As I sit here and listen to Christmas music, I feel content and my heart feels light. Yeah, it's cheesy, but tis the season. Merry Christmas to you all. Here is a timely Christmas photo with Brother Chan.A Christmas tradition of mine is sharing the article "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus". It inspires me and fills me with hope. If you have read it, enjoy it again. If you haven't, do yourself a favor and read it. (Click to enlarge):

3 comments:

Matt Benyo said...

This was posted at 12:34. Pretty rad.

I don't like what you wrote about bc I don't want it to be true. I want Christmas to be what it was when I was little -- but working all night Christmas Eve really put it in perspective and what you wrote is true.

You and Chan look marvelous.

vince said...

chelsea, thanks for posting the letter to Virginia again. always cheers me up to read it.
also merry christmas!

Julia Maiuri said...

likes this.