Russell Brand, is (even more so now) my biggest celebrity crush. If you go to the search bar on my blog and type in RUSSELL BRAND, you will find I mention him quite a few times. I can't help it; that accent, face, charm, luscious locks, intelligence, confidence, and personality; it's all so attractive to me. So when I found out he was coming to the EMU convocation center to do stand up; HOW could I POSSIBLY pass up this chance to see my crush when he's practically in my backyard? How often does Russell Brand come to Michigan? The anticipation had been building up for days. I started posting statuses on facebook about it 48 hours in advance right down to 55 minutes before the show started. The one I posted 55 minutes pre-show said, and I quote, "55 MINUTES UNTIL RUSSELL BRAND! IF I MEET HIM, IM KISSING HIM ON THE LIPS." LITTLE DID I KNOW; THAT WOULD BE NO EXAGGERATION. You know how you say things, but you don't ACTUALLY expect them to happen? That's what I thought. The AMAZING Betsy Hensley agreed to join me and we went. Prior to, we went out to eat with our best friends. I was feeling good, I felt as though I looked nice, and my excitement was building. Betsy and I had never been to a stand up show so we didn't know what to expect (and to be honest; I didn't expect him to be funny). He had 2 warm up acts. First was alright; second was horrible, but then it was time for RUSSELL BRAND. We were 23 rows back. I wanted to be closer, but when he came out on stage, I couldn't breathe. I got dizzy. Then he spoke and I was dying. Thank you, Betsy, for putting up with my fanaticism before and OBVIOUSLY after the show. He was onstage for over an hour and, believe it or not, he was actually funny and insightful. People don't give him enough credit. He spoke in his accent, but there were several times when he spoke like us and it was the weirdest thing to hear. Why is it we all sound like idiots when we do british accents, but when they sound like us it's flawless? I digress; he had mentioned that he was going to try to meet us in the foyer. I told Betsy we were gonna book it out of there before he even got off the stage. We got into the foyer and there were so many people waiting around, you couldn't move. If I tried to reach into my purse, my hand wouldn't have been coming out. There had to be 3-400 people just waiting around trying to meet him. It was unorganized and I knew my chances were slim, but we HAD to try. At this point, I texted Matt Benyo and said, "We are trying to meet Russell Brand right now." To which he said, "Good luck with that." And I followed with, "We're gonna do it and I'm gonna kiss him." At this moment, Betsy spotted him as he came up a flight of stairs. People started pushing and shoving and it was CHAOS. Betsy and I got pushed apart. Russell Brand was slowly moving through the crowd with a security guard in front and behind him. He was making his way to do a meet and greet (THAT I DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT) so he wasn't stopping; people kept randomly jumping in his way, but security would push them out. I had at least 2 rows of people in front of me, but I knew if I didn't get close enough now; it wasn't gonna happen. I weaseled my way near him and he was right within my reach when a guy cut in front of me and Russell put his arm around him to pose for a quick picture; NO SIR, YOU WILL NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME. I was right behind the guy and started poking Russell's bare upper arm/shoulder and saying, "Russell... Russell..." and he turned and looked me RIGHT IN THE EYES. Then, I started telling him how I read his books and how much his writing has influenced me and changed my way of thinking and how great he is (but as I'm saying all of this, I'm starting to get tears in my eyes because I was OVERWHELMED) and he said something along the lines of "You're lovely or that's so lovely" and then reached his hands out, grabbed my face, pulled me towards him, and KISSED ME ON THE LIPS!!! and I put my hands on his cheeks too. [Kim asked me if I asked him for a kiss; I did NOT. It happened naturally]. LET ME TELL YOU, he has soft, beautiful lips. It WAS NOT one of those "oh I meant to go for the cheek, but somehow it ended up on the lips". NO. This was a full fledged aim for the lips and they LOCKED. That single moment felt like it was in slow motion. It wasn't some quick peck either; it lasted a moment. Probably because he thought I was sincere and adorable or probably because I was about to cry. He then looked at me for a second and was ushered along by security. I had SUCH butterflies. I then stumbled back and started freaking out. Meltdown. I couldn't even control myself. I started screaming and barely held the tears back. When I got outside, I was jumping at least 4 feet off the ground and I just kept saying it over and over again. I guess it's more Russell Brand kissed me than me kissing him. He's the one that went in for the kiss. Maybe he kissed 100 other girls, but I was most certainly the first of the evening. It was so surreal. No, there aren't photos, but if you don't believe me, you probably shouldn't even be reading this. BETSY HENSLEY is my witness. How does this stuff happen to me? I don't know. This was FATE. This was some sort of WEIRD luck. I left on cloud 9 and I'm still there. I wish I could extract this memory from my mind and watch it in a pensieve. Imagine if you got to kiss a guy (or girl) you've had the BIGGEST crush on (and throw in the fact that they're a huge celebrity). I said I was going to kiss him jokingly. Obviously I wanted to, but, SERIOUSLY? If someone had told me two days ago or even 6 hours ago that I'd be locking lips with Russell Brand, I'd have punched them. I'd never have believed it, but here I am, 3 hours later smiling the biggest smile in the world, feeling amazing and confident, and realizing how random and awesome life can be when you least expect it. However, this has done NOTHING for me in terms of making me like him less; now I am head over heels for Russell Brand.
Hands down, one of the best nights of my life.
Definitely the best night of this year.
And that, my friends, is how I kissed Katy Perry's husband.
This photo is why I couldn't get a picture of us kissing. This was after we left and after his meet and greet. Do you see how insane it was?